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e beautiful flower u r holding
was a red coloured rose. ur facial expressions tell mi everything even u didnt open ur mouth. u mentioned to mi how nice it was, a gift from my brother. u all were like kids playing, hitting and making alot of noise. i, on the other hand juz sat there quietly and eating my food. i think i felt out of place mayb i shouldn't even b there in e first place. i think it wld b more fun without mi felt i was a hindrance. u all gt too touchy too touchy for my eyes. i wish i was e one doin tt but fat hope boy! i knew i cldn't even make it. i was trying to b happy e whole night. even though i disguised myself well i noe i still cldn't deceive myself. it's such a painful feeling where i dun think anione can understand. of course i feel jealous but wad can i do abt it. im a useless asshole living in this frickin world!!! u r like my arms and legs u r like part of my brain unseperable. u r... ... u r... ... u r like mi??!! now tt u're gone i suddenly realize tt i somehow missed u. remember how we used to slack how we used to sae "r u thinking wad im thinking?" how we always noticed e same ger how we r feeling at e same time how we r attracted to e same ger. people juz dun believe us when we sae we r juz being nice and friendly to gers they keep thinking tt we r flirts. when we sae we're shy they also dun believe us. but we really r shy in nature i can't believe there's someone in e world who thinks so much like mi feels so much like mi and acts like mi. i guess i'll hav to ask my mom bout it!lolx even though e days in tep were short i felt tt i had known u for life! i really treat u as my best fren and my brother. u r my soulmate whom i tell all my joys and sorrows. u gave mi words of encouragement and advise and i thank u for all tt. u can tell how im feeling at tt moment which no one ever does. i dun think i can ever find another person in e world like u i will treasure u, my brother! its been a long time since i blogged.i suddenly gt e urge to write something.my feelings i tried to hide my sorrow from u i tried to hide my pain from u i tried to hide my emotions from u and u nearly found out the reason y. i duno y for the past few weeks i gt this special feeling inside mi. a feeling tt i had tasted b4 but its not u previously. now im sure its u, i swear. u may nt noe tt im refering to u. but keeping it in my heart is terrible and nt lettin u noe is worst. i guess u oni treat mi as a gd fren and i respect ur decision even though i hav nt tried. competition is stiff and i hav given up nt even trying. am i a coward? i think so myself. i can't stand the rejection i'll juz fall back and collapse in ruins. i am weak, feeble and useless! mayb im nt fated to b wif u mayb im nt fated to be wif ani ger! i think its juz wishful thinking on my part. am i such a failure? i began questioning myself wondering where went wrong. i try to b happy whenever u r ard hoping to show e best side of mi. but i guess u cld see y im nt myself and u kept askin mi e reason. im sorry i cldnt tell u e truth afraid of lettin u noe. i dun wan to think ani further but i hope for e best. |
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